I am in my late 40s and have always enjoyed sex. (Always monogamous.) The guy I am dating had been married 20-plus years and I have a feeling he wasn’t with many women before then. He is not very imaginative, and doesn’t take direction or get the hints I have given him — though outside the bedroom, he says, “I am game for anything.” A great relationship is important, but I feel even closer when I have fun in the bedroom. Is this relationship doomed? How can I fix this?
Jenny says: I’m a bit worried about giving you advice on this one, only because I’m a Scorpio. For Scorpios, sex is the most important element because its crucial to expressing our love. For now, I’ll act like you are also a Scorpio and tell you that if the sex doesn’t work, the relationship will be very difficult to continue.
I have been in this same predicament, and I felt myself becoming depressed and even insecure because I felt like my partner didn’t consider sex to be as important as I did. If you really do like this guy, my next suggestion is to stop dropping the hints you are giving and start getting real. Have conversations explaining what you want, and tell him you want him to get more involved in trying new things.
Then, make a plan. Go to a sex store together, have him pick out stuff online that he wants to see you in and go from there. Don’t forget to constantly explain that this is very important to you, and if he doesn’t respond to your efforts, then it’s time to reevaluate your relationship. If he does respond, encourage him to continue — and don’t forget, positive reinforcements and compliments go a long way in the bedroom.
If nothing works, at least you know you did all you could and you should not feel guilty if you do choose to move on. I hope that helps. Good luck to you guys!