Dear Jenny,
I need advice on getting over a girl. We broke up over Christmas and I can’t stop crying. How do I get over her? Or how can I win her back? I need help. Thank you.
— Daniel in Illinois
Jenny says:
Poor guy! We’ve all been there and I can totally sympathize with you. I’m going to give you some good advice and some inappropriate advice, because that’s the kind of girl I am.
My practical advice is to keep crying until you stop crying. You need to release the pain, and crying is the fastest way to extinguish an old flame in your heart. I have tested this advice, and even though you might feel dumb, this is the express lane to healing. Without the release, you will either find ways to numb the pain or possibly project the pain onto friends and family around you.
My inappropriate advice is to go out and get a rebound girl as fast as possible. This way you can quickly see that there are other fish in the sea. The next girl might not be your soul mate, but she will give you moments that will end the negative cycle of thoughts you go through after a breakup. Change the way you see things and the things you see will change.
The most important thing to remember is that you can’t truly fall in love with someone else until you are able to love yourself first. It sounds kind of stupid and difficult to do, but it’s true. It is one of those weird laws of the universe that I’m still trying to figure out — but it’s a necessity in this game called life.
So cry your eyes out and go check out some of the other fish in this great big sea. Don’t forget, I’m single too — so you’re in good company.
