Columnist Jenny McCarthy reveals the secret weapon against ogling.
Dear Jenny:
I have insecurities like anyone else, but I find it so hard to be a girl. There is so much competition! Especially being in a relationship with a red-blooded, ogling man. How do you have confidence when your man is looking at everyone else who walks by? What can I do so that all of these pretty girls don’t make me feel like an ugly duckling? Please give me some of your confidence tips!
— Alyssa
Jenny says: Well, I have an answer for you, but it’s certainly not easy due to the fact that this is one of life’s biggest lessons. I suffered for years from what I named “Why-can’t-my-man-think-I’m-the-hottest-thing-in-the-world-and-only-look-at-me?” syndrome.
Let me start with the obvious: It’s because they are men. There’s no doubt they are wired differently. Example: My son, Evan, said to me, “I don’t understand why I can’t have multiple girlfriends; there is just so much to love that’s different in each one of them.” He is 10 years old. I rest my case. It’s embedded in their genetic code to spread their seed across the kingdom.
Due to the fact that it’s not humanly possible to control your man’s thoughts, you are left with only one choice: Change you. OK, I know, you just dry-heaved a little, but I swear to you that I suffered greatly from this problem and I have cured myself of this syndrome. I’m going to tell you how.
In my blog (Splash.suntimes.com) I keep mentioning this guru named Byron Katie. This bitch has changed my life. She wrote a book called I Need Your Love — Is That True? It hands down shifted my thinking to make me realize life’s most important lesson, which is that it’s not my partner’s job to think I’m awesome. It’s mine.
You are putting so much energy into worrying about what he is thinking that I want you to imagine what would happen if you unplugged that cord and plugged it into loving you and feeling confident about yourself. I’ll tell you what will happen: In no time you will not give a rat’s ass whose ass your man is looking at. I promise.
Let me finish by telling you this: After hanging around some of the most physically beautiful women in the world, time and again, I’ve noticed men are sexually attracted to the most confident, not the most beautiful. So go get Katie’s book, along with some peace of mind, and the discovery that your own beauty awaits you!
Send questions to askjenny@suntimes.com
