We all see occasional Facebook posts that say “Date Night!!” But what does that mean?
It’s the time to go out and pretend that you do not have children — as if you never procreated and life is simple. “Date Night” is not limited to married people. Single people with kids have date night, too. You see, date night is this time where you have someone watch your gremlins while you go out and (hopefully) conduct some adult activity.
Date Night Dos and Don’ts:
Don’t: Waste “date night” at a family restaurant talking about your kids. You might as well be at a parent-teacher conference or with your shrink. Date night is not about your children — it is about YOU. If you love family restaurants, there may be some solace in not having to monitor your 6-year-old little boy eating chicken-like fingers and hoping that the hormones inside do not have him growing chest hair before dessert arrives.
Do: Go somewhere kids are not allowed. It doesn’t have to be a strip club or a gun range. Go see an R-rated movie. Go lingerie shopping. Try on some panties at the mall and make out in the dressing room. Cuss like a sailor. Your kids are fine. They’re probably asleep or eating candy while the babysitter is texting whoever she is going to have over to drink all of your vodka. It is about suspending reality and pretending you don’t have any real responsibility.
Arriving home: Also an issue. Normally the discussion on the ride home in a cab or limo or other mode of transportation (because no one ever drives after drinking) is, “Who is going to talk to/pay the babysitter?” To avoid common fantasy issues, us ladies should probably talk to/pay/drive home the babysitter, unless the babysitter is male, then the reciprocal is true. Also, it should be whoever is the least drunk. Slurring to your sitter, “How much do I owe you?” might creep her out.
Do you have other ideas about date night? I’d love to hear them.