Jill, the hair wizard, creating my gravity-defying hairdo!
My sister JoJo’s POV from the red carpet. Was she sitting on the ground when she took this photo?
First celeb I spotted: Mark Ballas from “Dancing with the Stars.”
Next: Derek Hough.
First thing I did after the red carpet was eat in the VIP room like a good Chicago girl. Notice how other people don’t eat in Los Angeles.
Eric Stonestreet from “Modern Family.” I told him not to look so damn happy. He takes notes well.
I don’t normally kiss celebrities’ asses, but I kissed Heidi Klum’s!
Behind me is will.i.am. When he gave me a kiss hello, my hair nest got stuck on his glasses for two minutes. It looked like we were performing from our seats at one point.
Gangnam Style!
JoJo said to me, “My head is huge.” I said, “Your ego isn’t that big, JoJo.” She replied, “NO, I mean literally and physically, you idiot. Look how much bigger it is then yours.” Now looking at this photo, JoJo, you really do have a big head.
I was enjoying my can, but Randy Jackson seemed to be enjoying my cans!
When a cougar attacks, you are helpless. Poor Bieber. I wish I could have auctioned off my lips and hand after this! Cha-Ching!
Getting tips from Ryan Seacrest about how to control the world.
At some point during an after-party I decided to cook. This is called the “blacked out from vodka” period.
Don’t remember eating this in an alley at 4 a.m.
This is called “JoJo’s blacked out from vodka” period. God knows what after-party she found after I left.
I had to catch a flight at 6 a.m. Needless to say, I was too hungover to shower. Ouch.
Ke$ha was also on my flight; here’s a picture of her feet. Not sure who had more alcohol farts on this flight, me or her — actually, it was me.
Finally, some sleep.
