Do you find yourself coming up with excuses as to why its not your fault when s*it hits the fan? Blaming others? How often should you be taking some sort of accountability in situations that occur?
I would say, every time.
I have learned that if you are a player in the drama, you are also to be held accountable. You can argue, “But HE cheated on ME. How can I be held accountable?” I don’t know. Maybe examine why you were with a loser to begin with?
Byron Katie, one of my favorite authors and gurus, has taught me that if you can find accountability in all situations, it is the quickest and only way to move past the lesson. I have to be honest, it really really sucks practicing it but once I began accepting even 1% truth or blame in all situations, the amount of peace that came with that was overwhelmingly beautiful.
Because examples help so much I thought I would share one of my own accountability moments from a past situation.
My sister was angry with me because I didn’t invite her to go out one night. I felt like it wasn’t my responsibility to invite her out every time I was going out so she needed to get over it. I was really upset that she was angry with me. We were in this endless cycle of who was right and who was wrong. I knew we would not find resolution until we tried something other than anger to get past it. So, I decided to try and find accountability in it. I sat there and watched my thoughts as they tried to defend my righteousness, but I eventually allowed enough space in between the mind chatter to ask myself, “Why didn’t I invite her out when I knew she wanted to come?” The real answer inside of me was because I didn’t want to front the bill for another body, so I shunned her without explaining the real reason, and then blamed her anger on her. So, I knew what had to be done, swallowed a big glass of “it’s my fault too,” and called her up and apologized. I explained my dumb reason for not including her and she apologized back for not contributing more when we go out. It felt amazing and we were able to let go of that life lesson because we dealt with it correctly.
The next time you find yourself blaming everybody but yourself, take time to find your fault in the situation. Accountability is a bitch but after you get to know her she will become your new BFF.