Jenny McCarthy offers her take on shopping parties and a public servant gone rogue.
I have two kids in elementary school and I am friendly with the other moms. However, they keep inviting me to these “shopping parties” where I am supposed to go and have small talk and buy something (so that they get free stuff). I hate these parties — I don’t enjoy small talk (it feels phony to me), and I don’t need any overpriced candles, kitchen gadgets, jewelry, monogrammed bags, skin care, etc. How do I politely tell people I am not at all interested in going and to please stop inviting me?
— Louise from Bethlehem, Pa.
Jenny says: You’re not alone. Believe me. I’ve been invited to plenty of those kinds of parties. I used to go, buy a vanilla-scented candle, small talk and then head home. Then I would give that same vanilla candle to the host as her birthday present. Seems fair to me!
Sadly, that hint didn’t always work because weeks later I would find another invitation in my mailbox for some other woman’s Tupperware get-together. Unfortunately, it’s a small world and word got around I couldn’t say no to the gadget parties. So the next time I got invited to a party, I lied and said I was going to be out of town — and then hid in my house for fear someone would see me. Then I began losing my mind, because even if I thought I was being James Bond for a quick coffee run, my stupid Facebook GPS was on and showed my ass at Starbucks down the street! Lying is just way too stressful.
Now when I’m asked to go to a shopping party, I tell the woman I only go to parties that sell sex toys. That response usually has her running and, if it doesn’t, then I know she’s my kind of girl! In the end, you need to be honest and decline by politely saying “gadget parties” are not your thing. Learn from my mistakes and put an end to the invites immediately because word gets around if you don’t.
Ladies, this should be an agreement as part of our sisterhood. Let’s stop these! If you really want to make money and have social time then learn how to play Texas hold ’em and start having poker parties instead.
I have been dating a sheriff’s deputy on and off for six years, but for the last year or so we have gotten very close. We saw each other on the weekend, made plans for the following weekend but when I texted him about our plans during the week, he texted back with “Have to pass, started seeing someone!”
That’s it. I have texted and emailed a few short messages (not mean or upset) since then and have gotten ZERO response. Obviously, I wrote him off but my question is, what kind of guy does that? Do men actually think that is acceptable? Especially since he is a public servant, doesn’t that bring common sense and decency?
— Jackie from Oswego
Jenny says: Yes, I would say that was pretty douche-baggy of him to be so short and so blunt with you. Also, with texts it’s so hard to hear any emotion, so that doesn’t help. He could have thought he was saying it sweetly, but it doesn’t matter. It still hurts. OMG, if I could hug you I would! Girl, there is nothing harder then dating.
If I were you, I would look at the bigger picture. You said it was a guy you were seeing on and off for six years. I’m sorry, but that doesn’t sound like “the one.” Sounds more like a “maybe” guy or a “booty call” guy. After six years, it’s time to move on. When I get leftovers that seem to pop up in my life again, I think to myself, “Oh no, I’m attracting the same thing!” What didn’t I learn from the last time? What do I need to change to upgrade this time?
Once you do that, you will be amazed by all the fresh meat that comes your way. It will be raining new men and when it does, call me so I can have some of your leftovers. Mine have been awful lately.
Send questions to firstname.lastname@example.org