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Wanna Get High?


Posted by Jenny McCarthy on 02 Nov 2012



I used to think I needed a girls’ night out to lift my spirits or a drink to help me through a hiccup in my life. But when someone told me there is this thing that can make you happy in just seconds, I immediately asked, “Where can I buy some?” I asked my friend what the name of this stuff was and she replied, “gratitude.” “Gratitude? What kind of crap is that?” I thought. I couldn’t help but think I was in a lost episode of “Mister Rogers,” and King Friday or Lady Elaine was about to come around the corner preaching about gratitude. I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, because she did in fact seem to be happy most of the time. I’ll be damned, that bitch was right. She told me to start practicing this new serotonin high while waiting at red lights. She said you can’t be grateful for things you can’t see in the future, so you must put yourself in the present and realize what are you grateful for NOW in your life. Then, after you think it, you need to feel it. So, I began. I sat in my…

I used to think I needed a girls’ night out to lift my spirits or a drink to help me through a hiccup in my life. But when someone told me there is this thing that can make you happy in just seconds, I immediately asked, “Where can I buy some?”

I asked my friend what the name of this stuff was and she replied, “gratitude.”

“Gratitude? What kind of crap is that?” I thought. I couldn’t help but think I was in a lost episode of “Mister Rogers,” and King Friday or Lady Elaine was about to come around the corner preaching about gratitude. I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, because she did in fact seem to be happy most of the time. I’ll be damned, that bitch was right.

She told me to start practicing this new serotonin high while waiting at red lights. She said you can’t be grateful for things you can’t see in the future, so you must put yourself in the present and realize what are you grateful for NOW in your life. Then, after you think it, you need to feel it.

So, I began. I sat in my car and looked around to make sure that I was aware of myself sitting in the car at a red light, instead of thinking about a hot date I have in a few days. Once I found presence, I began to think of what I was grateful for and my son Evan popped into my thoughts. His beautiful face, his infectious smile, his way with words, his ability to cuddle better than any human on earth, his sense of humor and his health all made my body fill with gratitude that this angel is in my life. I looked around at people waiting for the light to turn green and they all had perplexed, worried faces that seemed to reflect future stresses or past pain. I looked at my own face in the car mirror and it looked like I smoked the biggest joint in the world. I was high on gratitude and it felt amazing.

Now whenever I feel like getting high, I do the exact same thing with various things in my life. Not only does it work, but the side effects don’t cause gas or heartburn. What a bonus!

Send your questions to Jenny at askjenny@suntimes.com

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