How in the heck can anyone stay interested in having sex with the same person for years? Being a serial monogamist, I will admit to having to force down a few drinks to even get in the mood after being in a long relationship. Is this normal? I have no idea, but based on what everyone tells me, it’s common. So what are we supposed to do about it?
When I asked my mom about it she said, “It’s our duty to do the deed.” Really, Mom? Our duty? Blah. I want to know how to keep it hot so it doesn’t feel like a deed.
After talking to my friends who have been married for almost fifteen years I gathered their notes and thought I would offer them to you. First of all, its not always going to be hot. Boredom is inevitable but being able to come up with ideas to spice it up helps keep it interesting. The number one response was to have a date night with alcohol. They all said it helps them unwind and get a little dirtier than usual. The second suggestion was porn. I certainly can’t see my mom using that one, so I’ll jump to the next one, which was to take a trip to Vegas. For some reason us Midwesterners really know how to live it up in Vegas; with sexiness everywhere you turn, it can easily put you in the mood. The next one on the list was to get some great lube. Sex tarts is the best. Who said that? Not me! I’m also not telling you that watermelon is the best flavor. Okay, moving on.
The last one they came up with was to learn how to love your man all over again. There’s no better aphrodisiac than loving your partner. Think about what made you hot for him/her in the first place and connect to those feelings. But if all else fails, just imagine Bradley Cooper on top of you — that should do the trick.
Good luck and let me know how it goes.
Send Jenny questions at firstname.lastname@example.org!
Photo by Andrew Toth~AP